Dilbert: I finished coding the new feature.
Boss: What took you so long?
Dilbert: It took as long as it needed to take.
Boss: You're behind schedule.
Dilbert: I'm not the one who created the schedule! That was you!!! Maybe you should fire yourself for being so bad at making schedules.
Boss: That's not how it works!
Dilbert: What does that even mean?
Boss: They're starting to catch on that most of what I say doesn't mean anything.