Tina: Do you know why my keyboard has gravy all over it?
Dilbert: Oh, sorry, my phone rang while I was eating at my desk and I didn't have a napkin so I used your keyboard.
Tina: I... Don't even know how to respond to that.
Wally: Phew! That's what I was hoping.
Male Employee: Why did you only answer one of my seven questions in my email?
Dilbert: I'm penalizing you for asking too many questions in a long rambling email.
Male employee: Jerk.
Dilbert: That'll cost you three questions.
Dilbert: I offered to help a co-worker, and she started delegating tasks to me like I'm her subordinate.
Dogbert: Is the point of your boring story that your co-worker is a natural leader and you're a wimp.
Dilbert: I was looking for some empathy.
Dogbert: Is your point that you look for things in the wrong places?