Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Negotiating Expert

Thank you for voting.
Negotiating Expert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #negotiation, #training, #irony, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to negotiate. Normally, he charges triple the market rate, but I talked him down to double. Wally: Where is he? Boss: He said he's teaching us what happens when there's no performance clause in a contract.

Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #negotiation, #irony, #appointment, #deadline, #consultant, #training

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Negotiation Trainer. Boss: We'll see you on Monday for our first lesson. Dogbert: Sure. I'll see you on Monday or Tuesday. Possibly Wednesday. Boss: We paid you to start on Monday. Dogbert: Think how much you'll learn when I don't show up.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #jargon, #misunderstanding, #genius, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your slide deck is okay-ish. But can you make it more aspirational? Dilbert: It's just a software upgrade. Boss: Yes, yes. But I want the audience to feel it. Dilbert: They can feel the handouts. Boss: It's like you're not even trying to understand! Genius is often misunderstood. Dilbert: Do you know what else is misunderstood? Boss: Super-genius?