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- Dilbert by Scott Adams
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Tags: insult, offense, engineer, programmer, coding, anger Transcript

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Man: How's the software coming? Alice: Still waiting for you to give me the specs so I can start. Man: I already told you it's a cloud app that does data. Hey, I can't do your job for you. You have to meet me halfway. Aren't you supposed to be "agile?" I mean, how hard is it to rearrange zeroes and ones all day? Should I ask again tomorrow? Alice: Sure, if you're alive.

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Being The Best

Being The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams
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Share March 05, 2016's comic on:

Tags: advice, failure, guest artist, motivation, pep talk, success, john glynn Transcript

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CEO: The secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. Dilbert: What are you the best at? CEO: I'm the best at motivating people. Dilbert: Yay! I can't wait for that to start.

Business Plan History

Business Plan History - Dilbert by Scott Adams
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Share March 04, 2016's comic on:

Tags: business plan, futile, futility, goal, guest artist, logic, plan, john glynn Transcript

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Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.