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Ceo Wants To Fire Dilbert

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Tags: laziness, firing, fired, termination, identity, fake identity, alias, nom de guerre, deception Transcript

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Boss: Our CEO ordered me to fire you for embarrassing him at a meeting But that would be inconvenient for me. So... I'm going to call you Carlos from now on. And it would help if you grew a beard and walked with a limp.

Ceo Is On Nine Boards

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Tags: board, board member, power, bragging, focus, attention Transcript

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CEO: I am proud to say I serve as a board member for nine corporations. Dilbert; Your lack of focus shows disregard for your fiduciary responsibilities. CEO: Can someone fire this guy for me? I don't remember what company I'm at.

What Advice Is

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Tags: help, gratitude, misanthrope, misanthropic, misanthropy, advice Transcript

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Coworker: Want some advice? Dilbert: Why? Can your ignorance and poor communication skills solve my uncertainty? Coworker: You never know until you try. Dilbert: Sometimes you know!

Hire Smarter People

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Tags: leadership, success, insult, power, compliment, backhanded compliment, ego, humility, humble Transcript

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CEO: The secret to my success is that I hire people who are smarter than me. And then I tell those smart people exactly what to do. It keeps you humble. Dilbert: Good, because all of this was starting to go to my head.

Wally's Passion

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Tags: passion, drive, ambition, laziness, catch-22 Transcript

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Wally: I'm only passionate about doing things that are socially unacceptable. Should I follow my passion or should I continue being useless? It is totally up to you. Catbert: Try to find a middle ground. Wally: A mild interest in things that don't matter.