The Boss: I'm adding you to the network upgrade project. Everyone else on the team is lazy and useless, so I need you to do all of their work.
Dilbert: Maybe you should fire them.
The Boss: Don't try to pawn off your problems on me.
Carol: Wally, can you help me with a computer problem?
Wally: People usually don't ask me for help.
Carol: Why is that?
Wally: You'll find out.
Carol: I can't log in to the server.
Wally: I'll need to ask you a few questions. Have you ever eaten food near your computer.
Carol: Um... Yes.
Wally: That's your problem.
Wally: Your crumbs are causing crosstalk on the protocols.
Carol: Is this why no one asks you for help?
Wally: It's in the top ten.