Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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Tags: coworkers, workspace, noise, cubicle, open floorplan, etiquette, fingernails, toenails Transcript

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Boss: Did you finish the slide deck? Alice: I tried, but it was impossible. Some idiot in a nearby cubicle was clipping his nails. It was like torture. Clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. I couldn't think with that noise polluting the office air. I thought it ended, but then I heard some shoes and socks come off. It was my worst nightmare. Boss: Okay, whatever. Wally, did you finish your tasks? Wally: I tried, but then I notice that my nails were uneven.

From Scott Adams

CNN's Jake Tapper Guest Illustrates Dilbert. Prints to be Auctioned; Proceeds Benefit Charity! Learn More.

Network Is Slow

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Tags: bandwidth, network, speed, nsfw, videos, internet Transcript

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Boss: Why is our network so slow today? Dilbert: I'll check. Okay, it seems that 75 percent of the staff is viewing inappropriate videos. Boss: That's all I wanted to do, too.

Wally Is Employee Of The Year

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Tags: cheating, referral, employment, reward, award, bonus, proof, guest artist, jake tapper Transcript

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Boss: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for referring so many new people to work in engineering. We believe he accomplished this feat by manipulating the referral system, but we can't prove it. So just to hedge our bet, we misspelled his name on the certificate. Wally: I had it coming.