Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Smart People Are On Both Sides

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Share May 30, 2016's comic on:

Tags: politics, intelligence, appearances, perspective Transcript


Dilbert: Have you ever noticed that there are smart people on both sides of every political issue? Boss: Maybe it only seems that way to you because you're not one of the smart ones. Dilbert: Do I seem smart? Wally: I didn't realize you were trying.

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Share May 29, 2016's comic on:

Tags: coworkers, workspace, noise, cubicle, open floorplan, etiquette, fingernails, toenails Transcript


Boss: Did you finish the slide deck? Alice: I tried, but it was impossible. Some idiot in a nearby cubicle was clipping his nails. It was like torture. Clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. I couldn't think with that noise polluting the office air. I thought it ended, but then I heard some shoes and socks come off. It was my worst nightmare. Boss: Okay, whatever. Wally, did you finish your tasks? Wally: I tried, but then I notice that my nails were uneven.

Network Is Slow

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Share May 28, 2016's comic on:

Tags: bandwidth, network, speed, nsfw, videos, internet Transcript


Boss: Why is our network so slow today? Dilbert: I'll check. Okay, it seems that 75 percent of the staff is viewing inappropriate videos. Boss: That's all I wanted to do, too.