Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #communication, #mumbling, #speech, #understanding

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Dilbert: What's the URL for the test site? Boss: Ask Amy. Dilbert; Amy is a mumbler. I can't understand a word she says. Boss; Just ask her to speak up. Dilbert: I've tried that. All she does is mumble louder. And whenever I ask her a question by email, she answers the wrong question. If the only person who knows the URL for the test site is Amy, we probably need to build a new site and tell someone else the URL. Amy might be the most useless employee in the entire company. Wally: Can you teach me to mumble? Amy: Mumble, mumble, mumble. Narrator: Get your own system.

I Declare Mobile Phone Carriers to Be Enemies of the State

Here’s the basic problem.

Kids as young as eleven have smartphones. That situation won’t change. 

A kid with a smartphone has access to any illegal drug in the world, as well as all the peer pressure in the world.

Pills are small, cheap, odorless, widely available, and nearly impossible for a parent to find in a bedroom search. When you have this situation, the next generation is lost. 

That is our current situation.

To address the problem, you would need the phone companies to allow parents full access to all messages on a kid’s phone. And this feature should be mandatory, not optional. Parents need to see all messages, and all photos, from all apps. 

The phone companies won’t make that…

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Devil's Advocate

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Devil's Advocate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #devil's advocate, #demon, #devil, #anger, #idiom

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Boss: Do you mind if I play devil's advocate on this? Dilbert: Okay. Boss: Die! Die! Die! Suffer and burn forever!!! How was that? Dilbert: Better than I expected.

Dilbert Loses His Budget

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Dilbert Loses His Budget - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #vacation, #decision, #funding, #money

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Boss: You were on vacation last week so I made decisions about your project without you. Dilbert: Oh no... what have you done? Boss: I transferred your budget to another project. Dilbert: I need that money! Boss: Oh. Can you wait until the other project manager goes on vacation?