the boss: i can't give you a raise because you did not complete your project.
dilbert: that's because you canceled my project for budget reasons and assigned me to work on another project.
the boss: did you finish your new project?
dilbert: you only recently assigned it to me.
the boss: apparently, i keep giving you work, but you never complete any of it.
dilbert visually distressed: that is a total distortion of what happened!
dilbert: i can't reward you for having good intentions and finishing nothing!
dilbert: why not wait and see now i do on my current project?
the boss: we don't need that anymore.
company lawyer: i made seven hundred suggested changes to the agreement.
dilbert: you have turned a good income opportunity into a flaming cesspool of impenetrable legalese.
company lawyer: you can't be too careful.
dilbert: i think you just proved we can.