Boss: We've moved past the old notation of customer loyalty. Now we use science to manipulate dopamine and create addictions that make a mockery of free will.
Dilbert: That sounds like the epitome of evil.
Boss: We call it "extreme marketing."
CEO: I don't know enough about climate change to sound smart when people talk about it.
Boss: Try doing your own research. That's how I learned that hurricanes are caused by birds.
CEO: Write that down for me.
Boss: And did you know polar bear hate snow?
Boss: I was doing some research on the internet and learned that humans and parakeets can mate and produce offspring.
Carol: I don't believe that.
Boss: It's true. I read about it on a blog.
Carol: I wouldn't call that "research".
Boss: Deny science much?