dibert, the boss and ask at conference table.
the boss: our plan for reducing turnover is to encourage smoking.
the boss: that way, everyone gets a relaxing smoke break several times per day.
dilbert: or non-smokers could take breaks.
the boss: now i wish you had been in the meeting when we planned this.
the boss: i can't give you a raise because you did not complete your project.
dilbert: that's because you canceled my project for budget reasons and assigned me to work on another project.
the boss: did you finish your new project?
dilbert: you only recently assigned it to me.
the boss: apparently, i keep giving you work, but you never complete any of it.
dilbert visually distressed: that is a total distortion of what happened!
dilbert: i can't reward you for having good intentions and finishing nothing!
dilbert: why not wait and see now i do on my current project?
the boss: we don't need that anymore.