the boss: i've stopped trying to understand what you do all day long.
the boss: now i use an app that reminds me at random times to praise you or to criticize you.
alice: that is the dumbest thing you have ever done.
the bosses cell phone: ping!
the boss: keep up the good work!
the boss: did you read my suggestions on the user interface?
dilbert: yes, but we'll need a bigger budget if you want to make the user interface so easy that even you can use it.
the boss: just make it so the average idiot can use it.
dilbert: we did, but we didn't anticipate any below-average idiots.
purchasing manager: i can't approve this purchase without three vendor quotes.
dilbert: only two companies in the world make this sort of product.
purchasing manager: if i bend the rules for you, everyone will want me to bend the rules.
dilbert: maybe you could only bend the rules when it makes complete sense to do so.
purchasing manager: that would be chaos.
Purchasing manager: everyone thinks they have a good reason to bend the rules.
dilbert: is the real problem here that you were bullied in school, and you use this job for some sort of sick revenge.
purchasing manager: now you need four vendor quotes.