Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, dogbert, nature, hate, birthday party, protection

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert asks, "You know what I hate?" Dogbert asks, "What?" Dilbert continues, "I hate it when hundreds of people get together and throw a surprise birthday party for me." Dogbert responds, "It's amazing how nature protects us from the things we hate."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert, violence, beautiful, dilbert, conquer, butter knife

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've been thinking how wonderful it would be if all people renounced violence forever." Dilbert turns around and says, "That's a beautiful thought, Dogbert." Dogbert says as he walks away, "If nobody else was violent, I could conquer the whole stupid planet with just a butter knife."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, dogbert, tombstone, write, cremated, stuffed, cheaper, arm chair

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Dogbert sits in a chair and Dilbert stands in front of him. Dilbert asks, "If I died tomorrow, what would you write on my tombstone?" Dogbert replies, "I always assumed there would be no tombstone." Dilbert says, "Ah . . . You would have me cremated." Dogbert replies, "Or stuffed, whichever is cheaper."