Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags network administartor, dogbert, good opportunity, annoy idiots, start tomorrow, pager number

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "Why do you want a job as our network administrator, Mister Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I don't like people. This is a good opportunity to annoy idiots such as yourself for my own entertainment." The Boss says, "Wow. You're perfect. Can you start tomorrow?" Dogbert replies, "Sure, as far as you know. I'll give you my pager number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags two day workshop, mission, vision, useless jargon, illiterate execustives, mind numbing, job security, ethical behavior, better idea, high marks, class evalutaion

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A man says, "In this two day workshop, you will learn to embrace our company's mission and vision." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit in the audience. The man continues, "At first glance it will appear to be a bunch of useless jargon created by functionally illiterate executives." The man continues, "But after we do some mind-numbing group exercises . . ." The man continues, ". . . You'll forget that you're underpaid and you have no job security." The man turns to an easel and says, "We'll begin by writing down all the things that 'ethical behavior' means to you." Alice says, "I've got a better idea: if you let us leave now, we'll give you high marks on the class evaluation." The man stands at the front of the room thinking. Wally hands the man his evaluation and says, "Good job. You touched me." The man replies, "You wish."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags becoming annoying, misinterpret everything, asservtive, annoying not asservtive, clothes dryer

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Dogbert and Ratbert walk through the house. Dogbert says, "I hear you're becoming an annoying person who misinterprets everything." Ratbert replies, "Yes, I'm more assertive." Dogbert says, "I said annoying, not assertive." Ratbert says, "Apology accepted." They stand at the top of the cellar stairs. Dogbert opens the dryer door and says, "Whatever you do, don't climb in this clothes dryer." Ratbert says, "Yeah, it does look cozy in there."